Sunday Afternoon Job Hunting Jitters

Your Monkey is back at it again, my friends. He is out there tracking down job leads on Craigslist and putting his tender monkey heart out on the line in emails to prospective employers. Do you think that you might possibly like me? Maybe even a little, tiny bit? Maybe not like-like, or even love, but a little budding interest? Would you at least bring me in for an interview?

Could this be the weekend that he finally gets lucky? Probably not. But at least he is doing something positive. In the meantime, here is an update from Monkey Headquarters. An all-sports edition because sports is ruling the roost in Boston right now.

1. The Celtics have finally vanquished the wretched Chicago Bulls after a painfully prolonged series. Will they be ready for the Orlando Magic on Monday after one of the longest playoff battles in history? It’s tough to say. But we’ll take the small victory over the Bulls for now.
2. One interesting thing about the Celtics victory is how key of a role Brian Scalabrini played in coming off the bench. For a guy who didn’t dress for the playoffs last year and was something of a punchline for fans early this year, it is gratifying to see him hit some meaningful three-pointers and play some great defense.
3. Maybe this is just because the Monkey is not a big hockey fan, but watching the Boston Bruins beat the Carolina Hurricanes on Friday night just didn’t produce the same same thrill as watching them pummel the hapless Canadians in the previous series. Rivalries help the casual fan get into the game. Perhaps the series will get some drama in game two tonight.
4. The difference in pacing between baseball and other sports like football, basketball and hockey is never more apparent than when you switch back and forth between the two. Baseball is OK on its own, but it seems to suffer in comparison to these fast-paced sports. As an acquaintance once said “It’s like watching paint dry.”
5. Sports are psychologically important to men in ways we probably don’t entirely understand yet. Sure, we can scoff at women who like to watch the Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars, but is there really all that much difference? It is meaningless competition in the grand scheme of things, and yet is strangely comforting. All this monkey knows is that something doesn’t feel quite right when a game is not on.

A Heatwave Hangover at Monkey Station

The following incidents took place at Monkey Central during the past 48 hours.

1. Wake up early Friday morning with new sense of purpose after watching Celtics handily beat Bulls in playoff game #3 the night before. Listen to fraud radio show hosts completely change their tune about Celtics from one of “they’ll be lucky to get out of this series with a win” to “they’ll have it wrapped up in five games.”
2. Spend day at work thrilling to the discovery of several new podcasts. One called “Psychedelic Velveeta” has live concerts from two of the Monkey’s favorite bands, the Black Angels and Dead Meadow. Black Angels podcast is an excellent performance, though the mix is a little bit too vocal heavy and doesn’t quite do justice to the energy of the band.
3. Leave work approximate 6 mins early in an attempt to get to Fenway Park in time for Red Sox game. Fail miserably, as traffic is backed up all over the place due to series of minor fender benders. Monkey suspects that many accidents are due to drivers gawking at girls dressed for unseasonably warm weather.
4. While stuck in traffic, watch as man in silver Jeep with New Hampshire plates (you know who you are) unceremoniously dumps trash out the window of his car on to the road. A single monkey tear drops from eye as your Monkey realizes that even after all the environmental awareness campaigns of the past 10 years, there are still plenty of jerky a-holes who simply don’t care.
5. Make it to Red Sox game in time for bottom of the first inning. End up spending far too much of the limited Monkey funds on overpriced draft beer. Picture Sox ownership lighting cigars with the Monkey’s $20 bills and laughing deliriously.
6. Stumble home after game with warm happy feeling following come-from-behind win.
7. Wake up next morning with cold sickly feeling as hangover kicks in. Find that sickening state of hangover leads to unprecedented mental clarity. Wonder if antidepressant medication is slowly poisoning body. Or maybe is just the alcohol talking.
8. Hangover mercifully eases around 12 pm, but a walk in the woods during beautiful spring day leads to discovery of more trash (rusted mattressed, burned out armchairs, gatorade bottles) and more monkey tears.
9. Day winds down without hangover ever really going away. Settle into uneasy sleep in roasting hot room. Vow to wake up early to put screens in windows.
10. Wake up late with impression of monkey body etched in sweat on the sheets. Wonder where the morning went.