And so the solo year begins

Your Monkey is now officially on his own my friends. A small studio apartment in an unfamiliar town is where he now calls home. There is no one to talk to but himself, no one to clean up after but himself, and no one to blame for all of life’s ills but himself.

So far the bedroom portion of the apartment is looking like home, while the kitchen side still leaves a lot to be desired. There is a table (purchased on craigslist for $30) to assemble, dishes to put away, and plastic tubs filled with clothes that need to find a temporary home.

The apartment was empty and clean when your Monkey moved in, but several small nagging issues remain.

• All three outlets on the outer wall of the building don’t have any juice in them
• The outlet in the bathroom doesn’t have any juice, either
• Someone is parking in your monkey’s assigned parking spot
• Someone else (or is it the same nefarious individual) has filled up your Monkey’s basement storage space with their stuff
• No mail is being delivered here yet!
• Shower pressure and nozzle leave a lot to be desired

Stay tuned for more updates and complaints.

In the meantime, here is a song to tide you over. Even your grumpy monkey finds it hard to stay cranky when listening to the glorious soaring sounds of mumford & sons.

Elance and I are Breaking Up (for now)

Dear Elance,

I think it’s time we see other people.

I’m sorry to do this in such an impersonal way, but things just aren’t working out.

You are just a little too high maintenance for this time-stressed Monkey right now.

Oh please don’t cry. I’m not blaming you or pointing figures. It’s not you, it’s me.

You may be a wonderful writing service for freelancers who have the time to search and scour and scrape for work, but for a full-time Monkey who just wants a little something on the side, it’s just not there for us.

Look Elance, let’s not call it quits forever, OK?

Let’s just agree that we want different things right now. You want $10 a month for the right to request writing work, and this Monkey doesn’t want to pay for something if it’s not going to fit his schedule.

Maybe in the future we can sit down and have a drink and laugh about all this. Or maybe we can give it another shot if I have the time and you’re still around.

I mean, we did go through the whole orientation process together, right? I know about all your procedures and policies and the right way to resolve a billing conflict.

You know that I am bashful and suspicious and am wary of just about every job posting. You’ve seen me toss and turn at night wondering if it is possible (or even reasonable) to write hundreds of SEO optimized articles for less than $500.

No one is at fault in this relationship. Sometimes the best of people (or of Monkeys and online job services) just aren’t right for each other.

So let’s just fondly say goodbye for now.

Yours Truly,

Grumpy S. Monkey